sorry about the blood in your mouth i wish it was mine
by elricss
Summary: i'm tryna give the impression that i get the message you wish i was dead {or, bonnie and kai, two spokes on a wheel}


**A/N: so this little gem was inspired by me and my bullshit need to make everything poetic. i'm a bit new to the bonkamily and tbh haven't really seen much of the actual show itself but these two, oh my god these two just roped me in so hard, but i'm still struggling a little bit to figure out their dynamic/give justice to kai's character so any CC is very much appreciated. TW: maybe a little violence? mostly tw lapslock and pronoun/comma overusage but I did write this as prose as opposed to narrative structure so we'll see how that goes? summary + opening lines are taken from halsey's lie, which is reccomended listening(the vevo version is my fave)**

 **crossposted to ao3 under korrasamis**

* * *

 _I watch you devour, mistake me for bread_

 _Well boy, is you fed?_

* * *

there's something beautiful about darkness, about the way he moves in the night, she knows better than this, in another life they'd be in a meadow, the grass would kiss her and so would he, two lovers reunited— here he only stalks forward. here, he closes his fingers around her pretty little throat.

here, this was _romance_.

she's never quite been impressed by the swagger in his gait, the way he demands presence, but she supposes after so long under the threat of the knife he's embraced his mane. the boy-monster and girl-sacrifice. a match made in snickers, she supposes. heaven bless the souls of the poor fools that happen upon love.

he's enamored, honest. it's in the way she stands her ground, chin jutted out. she's got him hook line sinker— kai's never been one to back down from a challenge. it's only natural. angering her is one thing, but getting under the skin of someone so darn pious and moral, well it's almost like retribution.

she's his altar, testament to what makes man nightmare, what makes man human. if kai's the moth, bonnie's the flame. she'd follow him to hell. he tells her this once, at the underside of his tongue, and she laughs something deep and hearty that chills him to bone. kai bites her hip hard enough to draw blood.

* * *

sometimes, the memory of beginnings will resurface. of bambi eyes and the crimson flush of her _short_ skirt. first girl he sees in eighteen years and he's itching to lure her in and spit her out. he almost gets what he wants too, but he underestimated her. big mistake. standing in that cave with the only light from above shining on her velvet face she tells him that they're stuck here, together. forever. she says it like a promise and he wants to slip a ring on both their fingers.

and then shove the ascendent down her fucking throat.

* * *

he takes her to portland.

the only thing he can get her to eat is pomegranate, she's all spite, got nothing to lose. when the sun starts to wane and tinge the world orange she'll size him up with scrutiny in those green eyes. like she doesn't understand why she lets him do what he does. kai knows, has since he first met her. since she'd damned them both to an ageless eternity together. bonnie likes it, the vindication. when you spend all your life playing second fiddle—or rather, second harp— you start to notice a few things. he spits out a mental curse and blessing at her idiot friends, for not letting her be selfish, and for dropping her right into his lap.

still, she's unrepentant.

"you deserved every single thing you got, you know. i'm not sorry for what i did."

he only grins at that. relishes in the fear in her eyes.

* * *

she's not immune to him. how can she? bonnie's shame to admit it, but in 1994, a lifetime ago, she remembers being flattered. kai would stride into the boarding house, goad damon, and stare at her the whole time. like he wanted to impress her. it's an overwhelming emotion because irked as she is to admit it she's not used to the attention and _what could he possibly want with her?_

his was a strange sort of beauty. exhibitionary, he'd shove it at you and then act like he had no idea the strength of his reach. goddamn showboat. and he's got her, hook line sinker.

she's terrified, really. does he not realize the power he has over her?

* * *

he'll try to drudge up parts of the past, their past, try to pinpoint the exact moment it all went wrong. and kai has no regrets, usually. doesn't regret offing every single one of the lost boys for leaving him to rot in their prison world. doesn't regret the knife, binding her to neverland. he'd do it again, honest. but the hate in her eyes, that wild spark of darkness, directed at him, is what he despises. wanted to do everything to make it right again, make her holy again. that was a mistake. she'd always be celestial. you don't quell angels, you let them avenge.

he hates her.

more than that he hates his foolishness. for getting so caught up in his emotions. for almost letting her leak out. he remembers that day vividly. remembers the anger and hurt festering under his reborn skin like a hot stone. bonnie's was always a cruel pain. bitter, like a scar that never fully healed. he had wanted to make her pay. watching her dim was one of the worst things that happened to him. their violence was one of breakfast shared between two lovers. the deal was such that both of them had the knife, but blood was not drawn without the other given. he'd broken that. tried to kill his darling. this end did not justify the means. _that's it? he just left you?_ kai swore he'd get them back for that.

damon's hand was a welcome distraction. bonnie'd get him back for that. he was sure of it. and boy did she. fucking bitch. he swears the next time he's going on a massacre is to find what goddamn idiot was responsible for two princes and rip them a new one. when he comes to, he finds her at her lover's grave. runs tongue over human teeth. witches and vampires were never supposed to mix anyways.

kai was going to get his girl back.

* * *

he hasn't had nightmares in years. jo's face comes to him like an apparition, a saint misplaced, he tells her he's sorry, she tells him to _stay away from bonnie_.

"i never wanted to kill you, i never really could," he manages between the sticky self hate lodged in his chest.

"i know," she tells him. it's apologetic. when you grow up under the thumb of violence, counting the creaks on the floorboards up until your room, the lines between good and evil blur. family is family after all.

when he wakes up he cries for the first time in twenty years. bonnie holds him the whole night. kai can't read her magic, the real one, the one that makes a demon like him feel so wanted.

* * *

they're in europe, somewhere in the mountains, overlooking the sleeping town. he's taking her to the city tomorrow.

"enzo took me to paris, before he—you know." she says quietly, catches the clench of his jaw. small victories. he doesn't know what to say.

can't offer her what she wants. can't give her what she needs. this dance of theirs mocks intimacy really, he only does it for her comfort. some part of him, the luke part no doubt, craves the reality.

but kai parker was built to take, not give. since he was seven years old and fell from grace. being joshua parker's crown prince was no easier than being the gemini coven's most hated secret. he doesn't know what love's like, not really. after all, lucifer was always god's favorite angel.

"stay with me," he offers. there's a quiver at the end and for a second he sees the smile bonnie hides at the corner of her mouth. fuck. he's never felt so virginal. he thinks about bashing in her knees and throwing her down the hill.

she doesn't respond. she sees it for what he gave her. an opening.

* * *

next time she outsmarts him, he can taste the blood in his mouth. it feels like a kiss. it makes sense. he got to fuck the goddess, he'd spend forever at her feet.

the empty house is a sign. she never took an invitation for granted.

"i'm coming bonster," he whistles. "you can't get away from me that easily."

* * *

kai has her pressed up against a wall and her skull feels like it's going to burst from pressure but he keeps a steady hand on her and makes his mark. spells his name on her clit. M-A-L-A-C-H-A-I. it's a warning, _you're mine_. she finally gets the message.

he's got his rings pressed on her windpipe, one cupping her lithe waist. hers goes right over the hard planes of his chest, over his once-more-beating heart and in his hair, poised to pull.

"just how long did you think you'd be safe from me?"

"thought you'd find me a lot faster. you're losing your touch, old man." she manages through struggled breaths.

they share a grin. he wants to pull every single one of those pearly whites.

"stay with me." full stop. he springs in the aftershock of the high, when both of them are slick with sweat, still floating back to themselves. it's not a betrayal of himself when he admits it during this, not really. not when there are so many things to blame.

"okay."

* * *

it's a tale as old as time. boy as mangled beast and girl as self immolation. he holds her in the ghost of an embrace, strokes her hair, and she claws his eyes out and puts a stake through his heart easy. and it's love.


End file.
